It's been a week....

Well....I've definitely had some ups and downs my first week of really, really trying....but all in all, I'm quite proud of myself (as I pat myself on the shoulder)!  I lost 4.5 lbs.  Even though I know that it's probably all water weight, I don't care!  I can say "I LOST 4.5 LBS!!!!!"

I made it to the gym twice this week.  That's twice more than in the last month.  I did an hour of cardio on Monday and then today I did an hour of weights.  I know I should've gone more, but my "excuse" is that we had a major heatwave here and it was too hot to go to the gym.  But now, the heatwave has broken so I have no more excuses...

Foodwise....I could've done better....but I've also done a lot worse!  I cheated on Sunday when my husband brought home Ben & Jerry's.  One for me & one for him.  So I made him share his with me Sunday night and then on Monday I ate maybe half of mine and then let my son eat the rest.  Not good, but considering that in the past I would eat one by myself no problem, I am quite proud of myself!  I also only had ONE Dunkin Donuts coffee....and that was Sunday as well.  And then yesterday I met an old friend at the mall and we started out at Starbucks...at least my dirty chai was nonfat.  But I don't think the half of a brownie with M&M's was.  And we won't even talk about what I ate at Friendly's! 

But all in all.....3 bad days and 4 good days is a definite improvement over 7 bad days!!!!  Now let's see if I can do 2 bad days and 4 good days next week!

Liquid Heaven/Pure Evil in a Cup

I just discovered that my coffee, which I drink almost every day, is actually 16 WW points...not 9 like I had originally thought! I knew the coffee was doing a lot of damage, because it's a newer weakness of mine, but I never thought it was doing THAT much damage.

So today, with only eating a pickle, some luncheon meat and my coffee, I've already had 23 points. I'm only allowed 21 points!!! Good thing I'm extremely motivated and not very hungry this evening so at the most I'm going to have some salad with raspberry walnut dressing. I know I'm already over my points....guess I should do some exercise....but honestly, who am I kidding right now!

And I guess it's a good thing that not one of my XL DD FV Coffee ever gets finished!

Mini Weight Loss Goals

Okay - these are my step-by-step weight loss goals....eventually I'll add what I decide to reward myself with...

• 158 lbs - Manicure!!!
  
• 153 lbs - Pedicure!!!
  
• 148 lbs - Massage!!!
  
• 143 lbs
  
• 138 lbs
  
• 133 lbs
  
• 128 lbs
  
• 125 lbs - TATTOO!!!!!
  

Bathing suit....will I ever wear one again?

It's the 4th of July weekend....which means 3 days off! It's supposed to be 96 degrees tomorrow. My husband actually has two days off in a row, which is amazing in itself. We have/had the chance to go to the beach on Monday. Secretly I'm glad that my husband is forgetful and forgot to nail down the plans. As much as I love going to the beach, there is no way I'm putting on a bathing suit any time soon.

And then it hit me - we are going on vacation in exactly 5 weeks. We'll be hitting a water park. Thank goodness I'm not big on water parks...never went to one when I was younger and now that I'm 37, I guess I've outgrown the excitement (plus I don't like to get water in my face/eyes....). But that doesn't mean the rest of my family doesn't like going to them! So while they are going on the rides, I will be more than content to grab a lawn chair and sit in the sun while watching them! But....that means I'll have to wear a bathing suit. Which means I have to go bathing suit shopping. Which means I'll have to see myself in a bathing suit.

I have five weeks to lose some weight before vacation. Five weeks to get into a bathing suit. I know that a healthy weight to lose is no more than 2 lbs/week. Which means if I bust my butt (no pun intended), I can lose 10 lbs by then! I hope I can do it! Actually, I know I can do it. I just need to put my mind to it.

But...I think I found the bathing suit for me. It's more than I usually would spend on a bathing suit, but one thing I've learned as I've grown older and more unhappy with myself is that sometimes spending a little more money to make you feel better about yourself is definitely worth it! And let's hope that I can buy it locally so I can wait to the last minute...

I'm gonna do it!

Okay...I'm going to do it. I'm sick of being disgusted with my body and hating myself. It's going to be a long journey but I'm really going to do it. I have to. I have to start feeling good about myself. There are so many things that I am unhappy with about myself, but this is the big one. I have a feeling that if I tackle this issue, that a lot of other things will fall into place.

I'm trying to think of all the different ways I can put myself out there. Do I have the guts to take pics of myself? Do I really want to face what I look like? Do I really want to do that to anyone who me might take a peek at this blog? I think I need a good dose of reality, because the number on the scale getting higher and higher...along with my pant size...none of that seems to be enough.

I have a feeling this is going to be more than me just tracking my weight loss journey. I think it's going to end up being me taking a really good look at myself. I know at the beginning I'm going to see a lot of things that I really don't like, both inside and outside. But hopefully as time goes on, I'll start seeing more of what I like and less of what I don't like!